


Not in my house

by Simbanrat



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Funny, M/M, One Shot, Uncomfortable Phil mitchell, embarrassed Phil mitchell, oblivious ballum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simbanrat/pseuds/Simbanrat
Summary: Phil keeps walking in on the boys, he isn't very happy with the situation but he's too embarrassed to talk to them about it.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 18
Kudos: 111





	Not in my house

**Author's Note:**

> This is born out of a group whatsApp chat, joking about Phil walking in on them/hearing them and needing to try and get away from them. I hope it's good enough for the ideas people mentioned...
> 
> Kudos/comments always appreciated. 
> 
> I finished writing this at 2AM so it might be absolute shit 😂.

Phil was fast asleep, tucked up tight in bed but there was something tapping into his subconscious. A constant banging cutting through his sleep and slowly waking him up, his mind coming back to an aware state and wondering what the noise was. He opened an eye slowly and looked at the alarm clock, the digital numbers were glowing red in the dark room. He could make out a couple of zeros and threes and his mind provided 3.30am as a possible answer. 

“What the fuck” he mumbled to himself as he managed to prise open the other eye and looked around his dark bedroom, trying to work out where the noise was coming from. It had been constant since he was woken up, a continuous banging which he realised was coming from the wall. He glared at the wall opposite his bed and furthest away from where he was laying, working out that it was the adjoining wall to Ben’s bedroom and as he did so he heard a low deep moan that seemed to vibrate around the entire room.

His eyes opened wide and he froze, not wanting to make a noise to alert anyone that he was awake. He knew what that noise was and he didn’t want to be hearing it, he certainly didn’t want anyone else to know that he was hearing it either. The embarrassment would be far too great so he lifted his pillow up, laid his head back down and smothered himself with the fluffy implement trying to drown out the noise. It worked somewhat but he could just about work out a slight tap now and then until eventually the noise stopped and he was able to lift the pillow away from his head and go back to sleep in peace. The rest of the night was uneventful and he wasn’t disturbed again.

In the morning he was up before anyone else, he went and made himself a strong coffee and he was sat at the kitchen table as Callum came downstairs to get him and Ben a glass of water. He walked into the kitchen and his hair was sticking up and waving around, he was dressed in a t shirt and a pair of boxers, looking casual and comfortable. He paused momentarily as he walked in and saw Phil sitting at the table, nodding politely and saying good morning as he filled up a couple of glasses before he walked back out and up the stairs. Phil let out a breath, pleased that he didn’t need to make polite conversation and he got himself ready to get out of there before either of them came down again. 

\------- 

A few days later Phil had been out all day, he came home in the evening and walked in through the back door, taking his coat off and placing it on the back of one of the chairs. There were some pots and pans bubbling away on the stove and he went over to take a look at what was cooking, it was pasta of some sort but he couldn’t quite work out what it was. He walked through the door and into the lounge, where he found a couple of people sitting on the sofa. Well one person was sitting on the sofa and the other person was sitting on their lap. 

Walking in to be confronted with his boy straddling another man was a shock, Ben was too engrossed with his tongue down Callum’s throat to notice that anyone had entered the room, too busy rubbing his hands all over his boyfriend’s body and desperately pulling at the buttons on his shirt. He was rocking in Callum’s lap as the other man’s hand were clawing, trying to get down the back of his trousers. Neither one of them realised they were being watched and continued on going at it in the living room with Phil stood with his mouth open and eyes comically wide. 

He quickly and quietly stepped back out of room, turning and walking back through the kitchen and picking up his jacket off the chair before opening the door and closing the door softly behind him. He stood for a moment on the doorstep, wondering what his life had come to that he was walking in on that in his own living room. He wanted to tell Ben to keep it to their room but that would mean admitting that he had witnessed something and he didn’t want to do that. 

He wished he still drank alcohol cos he could definitely do with a drink right now. He went to the cafe instead to get a coffee and hoped that by the time he returned they would have finished wherever it was they were doing. He decided to buy himself a fry up as well, they could keep whatever the hell that pasta dish was going to be for themselves and he would stay out a little bit longer just in case. 

\------ 

One morning Phil desperately needed to get something out of the bathroom cabinet, his head was banging and he needed some paracetamol urgently. He could hear the shower going and knew that he’d spotted Ben entering the room about five minutes ago, he tried the handle on the door to see if it would turn and it did. He figured he could get in and out quickly before Ben even noticed he’d popped in. The cabinet the pills were kept in was merely a metre from the door and he didn’t need to go anywhere near the shower. 

As he pushed open the door and entered he heard a moan and made the stupid mistake of looking towards the noise. He was frozen in shock at seeing Ben with his back against the bathroom tiles under the shower spray and Callum on his knees in front of him. He could see his head moving and Ben’s hands were in the other man’s hair with his own eyes shut. ‘Shiiiiiit’ Phil thought to himself as he felt his stomach twisting, needing to the get the hell out there. He didn’t even attempt to retrieve the pills that only moments ago he was so desperate for. The need to get away from what he just witnessed was greater than needing to get something to sort out his pounding head. 

He went to his bedroom and sat on the bed, his head was in his hands and he contemplated either moving out himself or kicking Ben and Callum out instead. He couldn’t live like this, it felt like everywhere he turned he was confronted by the two of them at it. It was one thing doing it behind closed doors and not having to see it, but that was three times he’s been witness to it and it was three times too many. Of course he knew they had sex but it was something he could live the rest of his life without ever seeing or thinking about again. 

\------ 

Nobody moved out though, Phil just made sure that when he walked into the house that he did so loudly, announcing his arrival the best he could to make sure the men knew he was there. He decided to never walk straight into another room, first giving them a chance to get into a less compromising position if they needed to by shouting out and asking if anyone was home. A couple of times he heard some shuffling, a zip fastening and he thanked his lucky stars that he hadn’t walked in them doing something else. 

Instead Ben sheepishly poked his head around the door and greeted him, asking him if he’d had a good day with his face looking flush and his lips red and puffy. When Callum emerged a moment later his hair was a mess, sticking up all over the place and Phil could spot a love bite forming where his shirt collar was open. 

It wasn’t perfect but it seemed to work. Phil knew they were still getting up to stuff in the communal areas but at least this way he didn’t have to see it. He hoped that they were none the wiser, not knowing that he knew what they had been doing. 

He had to buy a pair of noise cancelling headphones too, he might have been able to avoid walking in on them in the house but at night, and sometimes during he day too he still heard them. The moans and groans coming from their room seemed to get louder each time he heard them and the pillow only cut out so much of the noise. When the headphones arrived he got the chance to try them out that very night, the telltale sound of Callum’s moans (and the fact he knew it was Callum showed him he needed these fucking headphones) started to drift through the wall and he put them straight on. It was like magic and he kept them on for a good hour before he attempted to take them off again, knowing from past experience how long this could go on for. 

\------ 

Unfortunately before the headphones showed up Phil had accidentally opened up a package that wasn’t meant for him. A delivery arrived on the day he was expecting them, the driver rang the doorbell and since Phil was the only one home at that point he went and opened it, taking the brown box from the man and taking it into the kitchen to place on the table. 

The label read ‘Mr Mitchell’ so he grabbed a knife and carefully cut along the sticky tape that was keeping the box shut. As he cut along the edges and put the knife to one side he opened the flaps and peered inside, reaching in his hands and taking out the contents. His mouth dropped open and he wanted to run and hide somewhere. 

The package wasn’t meant for him, it was Ben’s. He’d inadvertently opened a box of sex toys and his face flushed redder than what it got when he was in a rage. He was holding a dildo in one hand and a pair of handcuffs in the other. In the bottom of the box sat an industrial sized bottle of lube and two vibrators. He was frozen in place, wanting to drop the items but his hands weren’t complying with him and they held tightly onto the embarrassing delivery as his face got even redder. 

After staring at them for a while longer he was eventually able to get his hands to work, placing the toys back into the box and taking a couple of calming breaths. He walked to the drawer in a daze and opened it, retrieving a roll of parcel tape he took it over to the table and set about doing the box back up, hoping against hope that Ben wouldn’t notice it had already been opened. He spent the rest of the day in a daze, staring ahead and not responding when the boys got back from work and greeted him. Instead he picked up his coat and headed out, not wanting to be at home for when Ben opened up the parcel and they played with their new toys. 

\------ 

When Phil knew that Callum had the day off he decided it was a good idea to go out for the day, especially when he found out that Ben was taking the day off too. There was no way he wanted to be in the house with the pair of them so he purposely arranged some business meetings as a way to get away from the house. Unfortunately though the meetings didn’t last as long as he was thinking they might and he was back on the Square a lot earlier than he was anticipating. 

He couldn’t go home, not yet, he’d told Ben he wouldn’t be back until the evening and it was only 3pm. He didn’t want to risk walking in on something so he needed to kill some time. He went to the cafe but it was shut up for the day, he had no idea why but the door was locked. He couldn’t go to the Vic cos he’d have to put up with Ian and Sharon’s smug faces and when he tried the Albert he could stay only long enough to buy a coffee to take away before he spotted two men with their tongues down each other’s throats. He was trying to get away from that, not seeking it out. 

He walked back along the market with his coffee cup, he stopped off at the Minute Mart to buy a paper and walked to the middle of the Square, going to Arthur’s bench and sitting down on it. He placed his coffee next to him and took the paper out from under his arm, unfolding it and opening it out to start reading. He got about five pages in when he saw the rain drops starting to splat on the flimsy paper, the water soaking into the porous material. 

He looked up and cursed his life, sitting in the rain while his son was fucking his boyfriend in his house. Fucking him on his sofa, on his kitchen table, playing with a dildo probably… and leaving their lube dripping all over the place, tied up somewhere. He put his hands over his eyes and tried to will away the thoughts and mental images, feeling the need to smash his head against the wall to get the thoughts out of it and as the rain was starting to get heavier he stood up and headed back to the shop. 

Luckily they sold umbrellas, shitty cheap ones which were hiked up in price but it was good enough for now. He opened it out as he walked out of the shop and headed towards the Arches, the water bouncing off the top of the waterproof material and protecting him from the now torrential rain. When he got to the Arches and unlocked the door, he stepped through and went to sit at the desk in the corner. The sound of the rain hitting the corrugated metal wall was loud but it was a hell of a lot better then the noise he was avoiding at home. 

He sat back in the chair and put his feet up on the desk, leaning back he was comfortable and fell asleep. He awoke sometime later and blearily looked at the clock, it was now 7pm and he decided it was a safe time to go home. As he locked up and walked back towards the house the rain had stopped, there were a few puddles on the ground and he accidentally stepped in a deep one, soaking his feet. “Fucking great” he mumbled to himself as he carried on to his house. He opened the door and shouted hello before he dared to poke his head round. 

Ben and Callum were both sitting at the table eating dinner and when they saw Phil was home Callum jumped up to get him a plate while Ben told him to sit down and join them. He did and they had a pleasant evening meal together, Callum was a good cook and turned out to be good company too. He soaked in the bath afterwards, attempting to warm his feet up from the chilly puddle and enjoying being able to relax in his own home for what felt like the first time in ages. 

\------ 

The next morning he got up and went downstairs, when he went into the kitchen Callum was standing at the cooker flipping something over in a pan. Ben was plastered up against his back, his arms wrapped around his waist and his chin resting on Callum’s shoulder, they were looking very domestic and comfortable with each other. 

When his son noticed he walked in though, Ben let go of his boyfriend and stepped back away from him so there was space between them. Callum looked around to see where he’d gone to and to find out why his back was suddenly cold and he saw Phil standing in the doorway. He nodded at him and ducked his head down, going back to flipping the bacon over and Ben asked him if he wanted some breakfast as he went and sat down at the table and took a sip out of a cup that was sitting on it. 

Phil said not to worry and he’d get something later as he picked up his keys and walked out the door. He shut it behind him and tuned back to peer through the window, noticing that as soon as he was out of the house Ben was plastered back up against his boyfriend and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. Phil couldn’t help the little smile tugging at his mouth and he supposed they did make a kinda sweet couple. 

He was grateful that they were thoughtful enough to not do it anything in front of him and he appreciated it that they parted when he walked into the room. He was also glad that they waited until he left before they got back together but as he continued to peek in he realised he had stayed there longer than he should when he noticed Ben’s hands disappear into Callum’s trousers. He turned away and walked out the gate, still not ready to be witnessing that. 

\------ 

A couple of months after Callum moved in, they announced that they were going on holiday. They’d booked ten days in the sun together and Phil felt as though he was going to get a holiday as well. Lola and Lexi had more or less moved in with Jay so with the boys gone he was going to have the house completely to himself and he couldn’t wait. No more waking up in the night to moaning, no more accidental walking in on them all over each other… no this was going to be amazing.

On the morning of the holiday Phil drove them to the airport and went immediately home after, walking in and loving the silence that greeted him. He sat down on the sofa, put his feet up on the coffee table and picked up the remote, turning on the tele and flicking through the channels until he found something he wanted to watch and he relaxed. 

He was in his element, doing what he wanted to, walking around the house without fear of walking in on something he shouldn’t. For the first few days he was really happy but by day five the silence of the house was becoming deafening. He found himself going out in the hopes of running into someone else to talk to, wandering around the square and chatting to his neighbours which was most unlike him usually.

He realised he missed Ben, he missed Callum too. 

The day the boys were coming home he made sure he was there to greet them when they walked in the door, it was late and their faces were both slightly pink from where they’d caught the sun but they looked really happy and relaxed, holding hands as they stood in the doorway. He was glad they were home and he shooed them off to bed, telling them he wanted to hear all about their holiday in the morning, and he really did.

Luckily they were both too tired to do anything that night and Phil had a quiet nights sleep. 

\------ 

A week after they got back from holiday Phil was out all day for business, he returned home in the late evening after eating out and announced himself as he entered the house. There was no reply so he walked further into the house and shut the door behind him before he walked into the lounge. He saw the men on the sofa together, Callum was sitting up on the end and his eyes were shut, Ben was laying on the sofa with his head resting on Callum’s thigh, the older man’s hand was threaded through his hair and Ben’s eyes were closed too.

Callum could sense someone else was in the room so he opened his eyes tiredly and looked around, spotting Phil standing and looking at them. His eyes got wider and he looked as though he was about to wake Ben up and push him off of him but Phil put his hands up and shook his head. Callum relaxed back down but Ben stirred and nuzzled his head against the firm thigh it was leaning on. Callum used his hand to stroke through Ben’s hair and he settled back down. 

He looked back at Phil to gauge his reaction but the older man just nodded and smiled at him as he turned around and went out the door, heading down the hallway and upstairs to his room. He was going to leave the boys in peace, they looked comfortable there and he didn’t want to disturb them.

  
After knowing how he felt while they were on holiday he had decided that he would rather have them there snuggled on the sofa together than a cold and empty house again, so he went up to his room and got ready for bed, leaving the living room to them. Later that night he had to reach for his headphones when he was woken up by another low deep moan, there were still some things that he didn’t need to hear or know about, but while he was able to block the sound out, it didn’t seem that big a deal anymore… 


End file.
